a pormised we made /
sometimes ; all i want to
is to hold you .
i cry when i am missing you .
smiling cause i have YOU
______________________
my sorrows seems to drown .
once i see you love .
holding your hand . secured i feel .
loving you feels new again
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BABY; < 3 ; CAYANG;
sometime you wonder why /
love makes you wild
now ; its still a wonder/
how she took my heart away
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i am so tired orite
i helped caried this paintings wid carolyn
and it was HEAVY!
seriously
anyway i got no mood to blog
but to let out the emotions
i have to
i am fucking disapointed sia
i truted her soooo much
but she wanna be so fucked up to her seniors
go and tell larhs
anyway she did
and senior just wen rolling her eyes
do watever u want
cause u gguys should be showing and example
but wad fucking attitude are u showing to yur own senior??
fuck larhs
i am so blardy pissed
and fer the first timed
i showed it to her
i cant help it
got a good talk wid julia just now
and to tell u the truth
both pat and bitch was saved by the bell man
or else i would have blown up infrnt of evelibodi
seriously
why cant they accept my decision??
why cant they understand?
k i got to really say sumthing to pat and fer u fucking bitch..
i am really sorry i gotta ged out
but its not wat i want but
i seriously cant
i cant do it animore
pple wld ask why
cause the fucking reason is
the 'thing' is not there nimore
if i would do it
its the blardy same thing as asking a disabled person to run
i know u pat is damn pissed
wid me
but please
as a fren
i dont want to do it
but i have to
update again ad nite orites
; ] .
i just know the truth
the reason why we had the strange problem
i dont know why
but i cant help it
but to worry about u
i can trust nobody nomore
first it was sis
then it is you
you seriously know
i hate her
yet u tell her about our problem?
i dont know where i stand in your life
cause after wad happen
i cant trust you nomore
hah!
i even think we could last?
to make me even think you loved me?
i was soo bardy stoopid!
but i dont know
maybe cause u were my first ever love
the love is still there
kak poot said
'first love will always last'
i know sumhow i cant slp tonite w/o crying
; ] .
i got no reason fer living nomore!
i just needa get out of this STOPPID LIFE~
; ] .
sigh.. its 10.22 early in the morning
kuzzie is at ma home
slept over
later ad nite celebrating bdae of younger kuzzie
like wad the hell
ma dae is gonna be boring sey
i just found out
ma other kuzzie is on MIA
i dun know wad it means but
she kena caught fer drinking by dad
haiz..
k
do later
; ] .
i am sitting here wid ma seriously baggy t's
and letme add it looks like a three quater t'shirt
wid ma F*ck band and chokers.
ma kuzzie say i look havoc sia
this would be a thrid time me blogging rite??
hahaha
todae had a nice dinner but sumhow i vomited AGAIN
seriously
i pity ma granny man
she cooked one of her best dishes
but i had to vomit evelithang out
haiz..
sumthing wrong wid ma tummy and i know it
cause its not ma first time having this 'sickness'
i would try ma best to go to schl tml
cause i seriously tired restless and sick
but tat would be noticeable
if u minus of ma dancing and shouting ad hme
i called ma kuzzie like 4 times
cause as usual i was bored and i had to bug someone
i practically wen horny wid Htun linn, ma god bro
talked crap wid shah
hes crappie
tat is why i said nice
can i add tat hes sweet??
tat would be too gay rite??
so i wouldnt
it was the hardest but i had to do it
i dont want her to be hurt
and i did
it made a tear drop
but i dun give a damn
now i am told to lay off
so fine i lay off
argh
i am soo sick of ma past
i cant stand it
wouldnt it be better if i would just like die
so no one would be able to get hurt??
so tat it would be easy fer everyone??
but i cant
i tried
but i cant
i still have the words ringing in ma head
kak putri's word
carolyn's word
cassie's word
i cant leave them
cause they led me out of the woods
cause
it would be said stingy
it would be dissapointing
i dont know how to say it
i am sick of the pretend smile infrnt of evelione
the holding back of tears
the voice inside of me stopping me to scream
wen it is the best time to
maybe i wrote the poem 'sucidal' fer a reason
so tat in a way pple noe how i feel living in the world
i end here
i end ma entry here
hopefully ma life soon
; ] .
i am booored
haven i said tat yesdae??
seriously life has been so boring
i cant go out cause of fasting
so i am stuck ad home
watching movies and chatting 24 hours
yeap
now toking to ma bro(kuzzie)
and this weird gerl
she said she tikam ma addie
and found me
so yeah i believed the lame excuse
man she is vlardy stoopid
dun noe wads culture??
and her own boo she doesnt know
and said ma boo is kewl
like wadever
some fuck up p5 bitch
thinks she some kind of hiphop
bloody gross
any way kak putri brought up a topic ad her bloogie
harharhar
i aint no discriminating no one
but this bitch seriously must wake up
she aint no living in some fucking dream world
having mushy stuff all over
tats sick
seriously sick
come on larhs
if ani one sees it
and report
tat will be the end of her sia
wish u the best
shit i am so fucking vulgar
zhen li must be going
"now then you know"
harharhar
i am back to ma old roots
listening to sum anger music
tat is wad ma kuzzie catogarise emnem music as
funny[not]
Trying hard to reach out
But, when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray I could break away
tat is wad i fellin now
no one is here fer me
kak put is the one
who always kena bombarded wid ma probs
ma baby dhiya doesnt know nithing much about me
ma shit talker frens are not onnline
ma baby is online
but aint toking to me
wad can i do now??
rather ending ma new chapter of life here
i wish......
; ] .
i am booored
haven i said tat yesdae??
seriously life has been so boring
i cant go out cause of fasting
so i am stuck ad home
watching movies and chatting 24 hours
yeap
now toking to ma bro(kuzzie)
and this weird gerl
she said she tikam ma addie
and found me
so yeah i believed the lame excuse
man she is vlardy stoopid
dun noe wads culture??
and her own boo she doesnt know
and said ma boo is kewl
like wadever
some fuck up p5 bitch
thinks she some kind of hiphop
bloody gross
any way kak putri brought up a topic ad her bloogie
harharhar
i aint no discriminating no one
but this bitch seriously must wake up
she aint no living in some fucking dream world
having mushy stuff all over
tats sick
seriously sick
come on larhs
if ani one sees it
and report
tat will be the end of her sia
wish u the best
shit i am so fucking vulgar
zhen li must be going
"now then you know"
harharhar
i am back to ma old roots
listening to sum anger music
tat is wad ma kuzzie catogarise emnem music as
funny[not]
Trying hard to reach out
But, when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray I could break away
tat is wad i fellin now
no one is here fer me
kak put is the one
who always kena bombarded wid ma probs
ma baby dhiya doesnt know nithing much about me
ma shit talker frens are not onnline
ma baby is online
but aint toking to me
wad can i do now??
rather ending ma new chapter of life here
i wish......
; ] .
i am booooooooored here ad home
i dun know wad to do.
i have to wait fer ma kuzzie to come home before rentin gmovies AGAIN!
i am seriously bored..
should i change ma layoout
but it was just done yesdae
haiz i seriously don noe wad to do
am going to teach ma kuzzie cause she is having xams soon
hmm i tink i am going to write on ma other bloggie
i oso fergot the url larhs..
since i am bored am going to write and edit EVERYTHING THERE!
i am so pisseed wid da com
i cant open certain pages
and all ma other stuff will like be there fer a SECOND and then "BOOM" gone
haiz
must try to keep ma temper down
i am waiting fer sha to cme home and we can tok crap again!
toking crap is my pastime
but sha makes it interesting
well well
people thinks that me and sha are togather! HARHAR!
nonononononononononnono
the world presenting SHAH![i am bored yeah]
sha is:
ma gd fren
loveable guy who is able to make a gd bro to everyone
a fren's of my fren
a member in PSJ
urm i dun oleadi shit!!
hahaha
i am cracking up
there is this 16 year old MAT hu is interested in hillary duff and mka!
liek wad da f*k
he is 16 years old! grow up!
and there is this bloordy guy hu added me in friendster lorhs
add me lydia and kak putri
i mean obivious he is those mats wic i hate
YUCK! BLUEK!
he's friendster is filled wid gerls sia..
kk i end here
later add again
; ] .
dont move on dont move on dont move dont move dont move dont move on
you brought me to highest the mountain
out of my deepest pair
you dont know how much i need you
to stand beside you
to breath your air
dont move on, dont move on, dont move, dont move, dont move, dont move on
behind the doors, people awaiting, people awaiting
to spot you on
thats the song i got stuck on my head.
its nice.got the song from COTDQ
i think there goes my dream of playing *
me and julia kinda dun have the interest in it no more
julia is now into playing badminton
fer me i am into dancing
me and kuzzie were cheograpying a song yesdae nite ad 12 orh.
superstar by jamelia.
i dun tink it is that bad fer a beginner like me orhs
ani wai i wanna get this strait nobodi said this before
but then rite
i am into dancing not cause cas or piglets into dancing
its just one hobby i picked up the way
people changed and that is what i did.
i confessed to julia yesdae
and she said i did the right thing
well during recovery,
i got down wid some taps and movies wid fast music and yeah
it stuck to me
i just wanna make that public announcment
yeap
; ] .
i am toking to sha now...
we are pratically toking crap rite??
hahaha i changed ma layout
nice or not
sha said it is creepy
dun noe y
i seriously think it is nice lorhs!
the story about me and ma bros is seriously tru lorh
it sounds weird but yeap
it is true
hahaha
freaky huh??
i dun know how ma two bros look like sia
yesdae made zhen li pissed sia..
and she kept on saying the word dick dick
hahaha
laughed alot todae
ma kuzzie broghten ma dae
ma lil kuzzie oso
sha has been toking crap to me
hahaha.
be grateful!!
at least u got sumone to tok to orite!!!(fer sha)
sha has been realli nice to me this fer daes
and i am grateful fer tat
thanks alot yeah
k needa go pray and go fer class
then go to granny house
haiz
kk
buhbyez
update later ad nite
; ] .
I JUST SO F*KING REALISE THAT I HAD TWO BROS. haha. this is lame but then wen i was ad da market wid aunt i saw this small cena boys. they look blardy familiar.then yeah i realised that they look like ma bros.
a baby was born and that baby was me.my mother had to go to work and never wants to get a maid so i was left wid a neighbour. she had two boys. they were never the kind hu i would have a crush on(come on! i was oni a year old!) i fergot their age. ani wai i know they are like 5 - 7 years older than me.so yeah..i spend have of ma childhood life in that small house. then ad da age of 7 i had to leave. the small house of mine was sold to an unknown person. i totally fergot abt them until early last year i met then ad JP. one was finishing A levels another was in sec 3.yeah..freaky how memories just appear to come back just like dat.
i remmebred once wen i was looking thru the oldold albums i saw the pics of us.. haiz... can u imagine how ungrateful i am.. dun even remember hu i spend ma childhood wid.
guys(ma bros) if u are reading this send me an email... or call nenek k?? i miss you guys..
; ] .
EXITS -
zhen li
putri
sarah
addne
syeila
iryani
athena
siyi
fahriyah
valentina chua
atikahFORDKOH
phebe
hamdiyah
grace
zyma
yana
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
July 2005
: )
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